cheer up

you know what cheers me up?

www.babyblues.com

so normal, so real and so fun
even when i don't have 3 growing kids.

the limit

i really dun like the feeling of being near breaking point.

demands from the family - go see your brother, have dinner with us, prepare the documents, finance the house, this this, that that

demands from friends - can't say this, can't say that, so i better don't say anything

demands from church - meet here, speak there, design this, design that...

demands from work - meet this client, call this client, do quote, prepare for event, run event. repeat

:(

one post

about my day today.

i've never felt so alone in the office for a long time. the shifting of the next-door neighbours didn't help to ease the loneliness also. no more cooking smells, no more children chatter, no more shy sophie who'd only wave to us from behind the door, no more busy june with many errands to run.. oh, i miss them. it's all so quite next door now, that i think the office is the noisest unit of the block, or the estate even, during the day.

i nearly missed my first appointment. realised i've been dependent on other people's reminder to get ready, to leave the office, the write down directions, but in one swift jump, hop and skip and a change of clothes, i was out of the office and made it in time in the van (i was contemplating taking a cab! coz' i hate to drive when i'm flustered), thankfully it was very near and i got an easy lot.

after the meeting, it was about lunch. actually no, the meeting was during lunch time, 12.30pm - 1.30pm. between eating sentosa mooncakes alone in the office, and da-bao-ing something from novena back to eat alone in the office, i decided to pamper myself and got myself a nice (and expensive) sandwich from cedele.

it was more desk work in the office, and it was quiet on the computer as well. becuase my usual kakis was down by one, coz' someone went offline in the afternoon, i think to catch his flight back to SG. but thankfully, there was still bonny online! whom i can just rant and rave to at the click of the mouse.
and i listened to Hillsongs' Shout Your Fame and loved it.

went for another hurried meeting, this time because the client only arranged to meet on the day itself. messed up my plans a little, but it was short and sharp and i was out of the office in half hour.

back to the office, to do more desk work. and little did i know, time passed and i had to leave the office for LY's place for dicipleship class. but before i left, i called up this urgent enquiry, only to get annoyed by his cheapskate attitude. don't care if he doesn't want to do with us!

it's been so long since i went to LY's place, and the feeling felt so familiar, seeing familiar faces in the same setting that i spent a lot of time on...for dicipleship class, CG, Alpha. and i'm glad we're back at it again. the fellowship was good, and re-learning what it means to be a diciple of Christ really blew me away, okay, maybe just a few strands of my hair got blown by the wind from the fan. two words - desire and decision. and i think the hardest part of being a disciple beyond wanting to be one, is deciding and acting on the decision to be one. but also, we realised that it's too easy to focus on the costs of dicipleship, rather than the fruits and the sweetness of being like Christ. LY's shared an example of what Dr Chia said that we'll be so natural, that going the extra mile is second-nature, that if we don't do it, it makes us uncomfortable.

i desire.
now i gotta decide.

beauty

in so much as
a squeeze on the arm
and the right question at the right time from the right person
an unexpected phone call that lasts for 15 mins

inspire inspire

this week's inspiration:

1. a homecooked meal of kimchi soup and stir-fried butt steak by a CG member blessed my heart, and made me want to learn how to cook properly!

2. the reality of the current financial situation at home prompted me to start planning to contribute to the household expenses more

3. a reminder that all we like sheep, are clueless and stupid, knows not where we're going without a shepherd. and Jesus has always been the Great Shepherd.

4. the israelite shepherds lead their sheep with total dedication, Amos 3:12 showed the extent of how a shepherd would fight with lions if only to save a remnant of his sheep. the model of being a CGL.

5. a fellow sister's account of how she was blessed by spending time with someone whom she thought needed it, blessed me too! what am i missing out in my own life?

6. the dedication and commitment of pat m, threw a stark contrast against my own conduct at work. i thank God for that opportunity to be sharpened and to want to improve myself at work, despite the annoyance of being ordered around like a robot sometimes. but i do have a lot more freedom than most people!

7. professional photography. need i say more?

8. sorting out my finances, revealed the obnoxious amount i spend on transport! i need to cut my cab habit.

9. hearing what others do before work i.e morning run, breakfast, time with family..and THEN to work, got me thinking about my own time management. in turn, it will help reduce my cab frequency!

10. books! i need to start reading more!

who is this man?

Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray. When evening came, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened. When they had crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret and anchored there. As soon as they got out of the boat, people recognized Jesus. They ran throughout that whole region and carried the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went-into villages, towns or countryside-they placed the sick in the marketplaces. They begged him to let them touch even the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.
Mark 6:45-56

is it better to be by Jesus' side all the time, but when He reveals his power, i recoil in fear and astonishment,not recognising him?
or is it better to have heard of his fame, and when He comes near, i can recognise him and i run to him?

it's been a while

after my blog hopping tendencies,
i always come back here

and i think it's time to do some reflection.

i've got my life, all over the place.

charity

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
Colossians 3:14 (King James Version)

what a big plank in my eye
time to change the outfit, and put on charity

things that costs

life
decisions
friendships

one more time, tearing away every expectations.

maybe it's just the season.

some times other people get more attention and that's alright.

i shall not dwell on it too much.

my identity is in Christ.

baffled

My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again

CHORUS:
Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there’s no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

It’s deeper, it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
It’s deeper it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
than anything my eyes can see

Your Grace Still Amazes Me - Philips Craig and Dean

phrung nii

what would this week bring?

everyday a new episode?

am i making the most out of every opportunity?

or am i letting slip what could have become a significant moment in someone's life or even mine.

Lord
i don't really know what to say or what to expect
the heart is heavier than usual
and the tears are at the brink
but help me to trust in your unfailing love for those you have called to be your children.
for me and for him.
Amen

solitude

for the whole day, today

and i've been online for such a long time; i feel dorky

at least i changed my bedsheets (finally!)
and ironed my clothes (finally!)
and rested (finally!)

researching for some drama themes for the upcoming mission trip,
and i stumbled onto www.onetimeblind.com
normal people, doing normal things to bring the Truth of God's word to the rest of the world, normally!
well, at least through art and drama
their scripts are so honest and so, down-to-earth
i think, i'm going to "learn" something from them.

it's almost 12.30am
i really should stop whatever, sleep and be early for church tmr.

one two, buckle my shoe

three four, please no more.

strike 3, and he's out..again.

Lord,
your ways are higher than my ways
your thoughts higher than my thoughts
help me to see through the mud and the mire
through the deception and the disappointments
that You are soverign,
and circumstances notwithstanding,
we will still worship You

bacon wrapped bananas

are on their way!

housesitting

of a place not my own! at least until tuesday

while at it, i'm having a little retreat
first, by myself
and then my little pal's gonna come over

first night tonight
and i feel a little lonely
animal planet, the whirring air-con noises, and my fingers on the keyboard talk back to me

on to explore this little abode
and too keep it speak expand!

tired

is all i can say

busy busy, how you kill me!

ah hah, busy busy.

i can't remember the last time i actually snuggled in bed, before sleep.

bedtimes these days (i'd quantify the length of time, except i can't even remember how long it's been!) see me in these few situations; sleeping on the cold hard floor, half-curled in bed with my specs and lights on, in my day's clothes and grime, and that's how i call sleep these days.

if i heard anyone living the kind of life i'm living, i'd tsk tsk tsk and try to give some advice on setting priorities, being organised, learning to say no, developing proper time management...

tsk tsk tsk indeed.

lemme just chug ahead, to at least, to the next train station and hopefully, there will be fewer passengers so it's not so heavy.

votd

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

peeved

• micro management is better off staying as micro as possible in my life.
• people do bully P platers on the road.
• as if brushing against her sidemirror is not enough, salt burned the wound when finger-pointing came from friends
• having 2 concurrent events, and both seemingly important and the decision was made, because of a fishmonger
• zitty zit zits. sigh
  

God, thank you i'm alive today, despite the nerves that were frazzled, pride that was hurt, fists that were clenched, because you know better and tomorrow, if it happens, will be a brand new day of your unceasing mercies and love.

hope looks forward.

lkkk

aka, the ultimate poo day.

not a pretty day, nor sight for my toilet bowl and urm, my bedsheet.

i totally asked for it when i asked for a trimmer tummy, maybe i should specify the method in receiving it.

my greatest challenge now is to stand up and not feel like fainting.

Lord, make me well okay?